Father and daughter
Your daughter is no longer little. Not long ago, she can easily fall into your lap coddling but now, she avoids every close contact.
The emergence of sexual shy instinct is one of many factors that makes daughter suddenly feel distant with father; this causes the relationship between father and daughter which is already hard in the growing age more difficult.
Worriedly, this will create psychological imbalance for both. Father suddenly feels at a lost when he cannot express his love for daughter in the way he is used to in the past ten years. In contrast, this is perceived by daughter with great depression since it seems “father no longer loves me like before”.
Worse, there are things she importuned and was made concession but not now. She doesn't understand that it’s because father has to teach her to become an educated young woman but interprets in a negative way.
Helping father and daughter to overcome this obstacle is the responsibility of a mother. However strange daughter becomes with parents when entering growing age, mother still accesses daughter more easily and uses the sexually similar approach to help daughter understand father. Whenever daughter confides to mother that “I feel you are more approachable than father because it seems now father is more difficult to me”, then, it is a good chance for mother to analyze for her the following:
Father differs from mother: It is obvious, but sometimes both mother and daughter forget it. Father behaves differently from mother and daughter. Father’s job may require more physical than mental strength. The way father …and explain life is unlike mother and daughter’s. Mother can put a simple question “Do you like mother and father identically alike?” to help her understand this and that it’s the differences that makes father a special member of the family.
Almost all of men are unable to solve many problems at a time like most women can do. Instruct your girl that, it means when you are away, father will have to “struggle hard” in order to complete all daily works such as preparing breakfast, lunch, taking children to school, shopping, keeping mind at children’s study…beside his personal and social works to earn a living. The house can be all messed up and father can easily be angry. Do not tease him and bother him! Be sympathetic and help him what you see you can do.
When growing girls feel displeased and have negative thoughts for father because he fails to satisfy what she wants father to do such as making her wait for long for an ice-cream round with only father and her as promised. Mother should tell her that almost all fathers are put under high pressure in the work, they have many things to consider yet still understand well their responsibilities with families.
However, the more responsibilities he has, the more stressful he is. Maybe he is not free to do what daughter wants. When father depresses the girl, mother should advise her not to blame as well as keep the annoyance. Tell her that a talk with a certain time, title, with simple, understandable words and pre-appointed will help her to have complete concentration from father and easily to get the result. Don’t forget to remind her to tell father how you miss him when he’s not present and that he is an important member in the family with her.
The most natural way for father is taking part in interesting pastimes daughter can play such as golf, tennis, watching football, listening to a concert… Mother should tell daughter that although she does not really like those games, it is worth spending time for them because they gives a chance for both father and her to work together, share the same happiness and concern; and hence the relationship between father and daughter will develop better.
Tell her that no-one knows how long he can live and how long the happy time together of the family will last; therefore, it is such a pity when we waste the time. The daughter will be thankful of her mother for encouraging her to spend time sharing with father. One day, she will understand by herself that this is the time father and daughter feel happiest, and also the time she is happiest.
Your daughter’s 21st century is a century the human has witnessed many scientific and technological achievements more advanced than her parents’. Despite that, “Mars men and Venus women” is still in fact, the two sexes will not understand each other for long. Tell her that the key to understand the relationship with the different sex person is the relationship with father. Being close to father will open the world of experience which she cannot find in any other relationship. Tell her to respect, love and be temperate with him when he is older and older; and enjoy the happiness having dad in life.
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