Helping your children to be less frightened
You may not laugh when your 3-4 year - old children fear the sound of pouring water in WC and the hoot. Should talk to them about their fear, because they will never be unafraid of something if you ignore deliberately.
Anxiety is the state that helps us to cope with new experiment and avoid danger.3-4 year - old children have a lot of fears because their imagination is very plentiful. They easily worry about unreal characters, their health (including your health), death, pain.
Fear of pain is commonly fear of children. That is reason why children in this age want to hide their graze or very small cut in their fingers. Almost 3-4 year - old children feel be unafraid when they feel safe and accustomed to environment. You can help your child to be less frightened something by the following methods:
Admit children's fear: Children's fear seems silly and illogical, but that is true and important to them. You may not laugh when your 3-4 year - old children fear the sound of pouring water in WC or the hoot. You should tell them that you know what they fear. If you ensure and console them, they will know that is not ashamed when being afraid of something. Talk to them about their fear, because they will never be unafraid of something if you ignore deliberately.
You will be unsuccessful when trying to persuade that there is nothing to fear. Your child will be sadder if you say: "Nothing to fear. This dog will not make you painful". Instead that, you should say: "I know that you are afraid of this dog. Well, we will walk together. If you don't want to walk, I will hold you in my arms".
If you think the origin of your children's fear is anger and worry when facing new events (such as going to new friend's home, beginning going to school.). Try to help them show their feeling by imaginary games. Or you guess their thought actively: "I know that you will play with your friends happily even if sometimes you want your friends go away".
Use favorite things: Some children in this age still like their favorite things such as blanket, torn cotton - bear. Those things will console children when they feel worry, especially in the change period such as going to school, sleep alone.
Favorite things help children feel more comfortable when seeing strange people, taking art in group and seeing to doctor. So, you should allow them to hold their blanket or favorite toys. You should not make them to feel childish when they hold those things, or you insist on making children to leave their favourite things at home. Children may not hold things when they are about 4 years old. At that time, children know how to set their minds at rest when they feel fear.
Explain: Sometimes children will be unafraid of fear if you explain it simply and logically. Words must be more persuasive than ones you used to explain when children were 2 years old. You could help your children to be unafraid of getting lost in crowd when you tell them that: "Whenever you are close to me and hold my hand, you will never get lost. But suddenly, you get lost, you must stay here and I will find you".
If experiments in the past make children fear such as injecting, don't lie them, embroider and tell over and over that. Mildly tell them that injection can make them to be in pain firstly, but it will pass fast and then we will happily play together. The important thing is that you must be beside your children when they are painful in order that your children find out you support injection and you never let them alone.
You are also help your children to know what things make them to fear in a safe distance; help them to overcome fears by allowing them to read books, watch TV, listen to records. For example, if children are afraid of riding bicycle because of fear of falling off and scratching knee, you should tell them stories about a boy learning how to ride successfully without pain. Similarly, children will not be afraid of monsters under the bed if they have watched films about a boy helping light - hearted and friendly monsters. If children are afraid of animals, you should lead them to visit the zoo where everyone can fondle and feed animals.
Solve problems together: If your children are afraid of darkness, you should turn on the light. In the experiments processes and meeting mistakes, you and your children will find out the way to control things that make fears. You should not hope they will overcome fears in just some days. They must spend some months (even one year) to overcome their fears.
Should practice through imaginary games. If children are afraid of doctors, you should let them be doctors (provide them doctor-toys). If they are afraid of strange people, you should let them play with dolls and cotton - animals. If they are afraid of witch characters, you should let them wear witch - clothes with you and draw face to look like witches.
Children in the age of 3-4 year - old are also learn how to set their minds at rest by playing with their friends. When children have some friends who will disguise with them to look like monsters or build ghost houses, they will feel what they used to be afraid are just funny things, not fear.
You may not show your fears. If children find out that their parents are also afraid of taking the plane or shriveling up when going to dentist, children finally fear those. So, try to overcome your fears, at least, do not show your fears.
However, you could admit with your children that you do not like dentist like them, but you still try to go to dentist to examine for healthy teeth. When you admit that, children will feel they are not alone. And that helps children to overcome their own fears.
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