Talk with teenagers about sex
If a child asks you something that you can't answer, you should consider that as a good chance for you to research, discuss the answer with him or her.The teenagers usually think that they should have responsibility if they take part in the solution instead of receiving the result passively.
Clearing up the teenagers ' sex questions in a right way is a problem of all parents,especially with the conception of being rather afraid of this delicate problem in Eastern countries.Some suggests following will help you to find the solution with the teenagers in these case of " Who the query can be ask ?" :
You have to start up a conversation of this problem with your children initiatively and make some open hearted conversations with them to encourage them to open their mind to you about their secret thinking.That also make your children believe you that you are a person who is ready to clear up all of their queries and give them necessary information about this Hot subject.And since then,you can keep close control of the psychophysiology developing process of your son or daughter easily.
You should use right nouns, terms denoting the pudenda of the body or sex life.That will help the teenagers to have necessary vocabularies for the conversation or examination in the future, and at the same time that also informs that sex life or sex query is not something unclean or taboo seriously.
You should let the teenagers know that everything they will get such as broken voice ,the change of the body, sex organs..is a normal and necessary process. Puberty is the time that happens so many changes of physical appearance , the disorder of psychophysiology and that is completely different with every teenagers.So that, appropriate and timely care of the parents is very important to the way of the developing character of a child in the future.
You don't need to be a sexologist.So,if the question is not in your knowledge,just consider it as a chance for you and you children to join,research,exchange the answer.
You should avoid the forced thinking when your children query.When someone tell about something or event, it is not imperative to join it by him or herself. Keeping calm and listening carefully is an important key to this delicate conversation.
You shouldn't judging rapidly if your children give some reply that is not agreeable to you; just calmly find out about the reason , advise step by step but must be resolute if the conception of your children is not right and give some compliments if you suddenly recognize that you need to "update".You can refer to some sexologists in order to receive a lot of appropriate advice.
You should let your children think that they are always listened and communed instead of judging and interrogating them.
Check yourself,if you have a wrong thinking of sex, you can not show your children the right way .
You should make some funny association,talk something humorous with your children in order to lessen the Heat of their queries. All of the information that you give them will easily comes to their mind to replace strict academic dogmas which is unnecessary for the teenagers.
Something that you need to avoid when talk with teenagers about sex:
Intimidate and forbid : this will let your children rebel against .
Goading your children into exchanging the sexual problems with their friends : your children will come and talk with you if they are ready and interested in.
Imposing your conception of sex on your children: not impose but must be resolute if the conception of your children is not right.
Think or suppose that your children are " unwise" about sexual problems: Nowadays, news and information in our life are being broadened,every child can approach everything which they are curious about more easily than the older generation.So, you should take the part of a adviser than a director
Jeering: Even though your children's questions are very silly, you shouldn't jeer at them.
Let the children transgress :you are open hearted but always keep a limit, don't let the children transgress and forget their positions, don't go into the details of your sex experiences because everyone always has a different felling about this problem.
Answer something that you are unsure :you should void the answer that you are unsure such as "there seems to be..".You have to know of the information clearly and exactly to impart to your children.To them, this is a good chance looked forward to for a long time to discover one of the interesting times in their life.To the parents,this is a sole chance to take part in the "update" process and it can help them to have a wholesome sex life afterwards .There are no good teachers if they the teachers can't seize their knowledge to impart to everyone.
So,talking with teenagers about sex is not a serious problem .The parents should wipe out old conception and try to teach them step by step and carefully .
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