Teach your child to accept failures
 Four-year-old Toan is very glad to win his mother two successive swinging games. In the third set, his mother wins. Toan looses interest and states that he will stop playing. When her mother asks, he unhappily said "I don't like" and stepped out of the room.
The case like Toan's is not particular. Many other children want to be the winner in every game and unable to accept failure. They are easy to shed tears or get angry when being lost; those are normal expressions when they consider victory is all everything.
From four or five years old, child has a natural tendency to want him to be the best or quickest person in every activity. Victory will make him think that he can control the surrounding environment; draw attention of parents, be appraised, held and clapped - this helps him to develop confidence. Virtually no children like to lose; they may consider losing as a sign of powerlessness, or failure, even criticism.
At the age of four or five, the child may go mad on victory from normal events to competitions. For instance, when taken home from school, once car stopped, the 1st-grade girl can run immediately to the door and say "I am the first". Her objective is to win her brother or sister.
Out of the top list, he may complain, accuse the opponent of deceiving, or make new rules at a suitable time. For example, a loser boy in a ..game may declare that he has the right to move the ..again. Or like Toan, he can deny failure simply by saying "I don't like" and walk out of the room.
The child's negative sign when he loses should be put out from the very beginning, for if it continues to exist until he goes to school, he will likely lose friends. Doctor Barbara Polland of California University , America , affirms: "Learning to accept failures will train a child self - respect and get on well with others".
In fact, a lot of parents encourage the child's view: "I have to be the number one" without intention, especially in sport competitions. He harmonizes well with parents' reaction, when they state that he has won. If parents have an inverse judge, he will be dissatisfied.
To change this, many psychological specialists advise parents to abandon the final result. In stead of that, they should emphasize on the most seeable things they have done.
Following are 4 measures to help parents teach their child to accept the changes:
From time to time, let them fail: If parents always let the child win, he will grow unreal desires and find it difficult to accept failure when playing with other people. Doctor Polland believes that a child have to experience the feeling of both failure and victory.
Require child to fair play: Before the game begins, require child to play according to rules and commit not to throw plaything when he loses, agreed by handshake. Always remind him that this game is only for pleasure. If he is not interested in playing any more, move to non-competitive activities, such as: "telling stories, painting. Simultaneously, agree with him to postpone this game to another day.
Teach child to respect other people's feeling: It's such a pleasure when your child beats others in a game, but not let him boast about that. Explain to him that his friend can be sad when he loses and encourage him to comfort his friend.
Compliment child on progress: When he has nice behavior, compliment him. For example, in Toan's case, the mother could say: "Although today you can not win me, we have been very happy. Today I am lucky, perhaps tomorrow you will win me".
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