Women's diseases
Women are born to talk. They talk about 5.000-7.000 words in order to satisfy each day, the vocabulary of a three-year-old little girl increases twofold in comparison with a three-year-old little boy, the little girl use 5 grades of intonation instead of 3 grades like little boy.
Men are born to act and meet difficulties with language. For them, speaking 2.000-4.000 words is an extraordinary effort each day. Unhappily, women often lead men into their language maze.
The first difficulty of men towards women: They talk too much
The story happens as follows: You come home after a hard day of "hunting bait" in government office; you only need finish dinner quickly to find the familiar armchair and lie down, finish reading the magazine for men or watching your favorite program on television. However, your wife isn't like this. Her appearance is pleasant as a master of ceremony enters a long enthusiastic dialogue in a ready posture.
She begins with talking when sitting down the dining-table:
- Does your boss still pick a quarrel with you now?
You will answer:
- Everything is all right.
- All right? - She raises objections - I feel that guy...
Thus, she will talk a long commentary about your detestable boss conformable to her survey and feelings. In order to avoid hearing about the man who you call as a boss but you neither care nor like, you should turn the subject:
- How are you today?
- I will die before the Death calls my name because the girl Hien who sits in front of me possesses me. Do you remember the girl Hien? I introduced both of you in my colleague's wedding
In order to "escape" (and in reality), you say:
- I already forget her.
- How annoying! Miss Hien is plump as a jack-fruit's pip; her eyes always rock as though pampering all men on over the world with pleasure. Do you know how she dresses today? A tree-storey blouse upper a five-storey skirt, aha, she looks like an eight-storey house which is total 1.5 m in height. In addition, she makes the hair model...
"Please help me, saints and gods - your mind cry mercy sorrowfully so- before knowing that what day miss Hien "has a period", how many times she "has an abortion" with which men. I only want to take a peaceful rest".
Therefore, you fall into a hum and haw situation. Thus, she swells her face:
- Do you hear me to talk anything?
- Yes, I am hearing.
- Where do I speak?
- .................
- Yeah, I know clearly. You don't take a pity on me. I must work 10 hours each day near a succubus, a fox in a lamb's skin...Her makes me stress and go crazy due to the fret. I want to share this problem with you when I go home, but it is not worth considering towards you. Quite right, my problem is unrelated to you....
And she begins to cry and leave off midway of the meal.
You are amazed to such an extent that you can fall down. Oh dear! What did I do? Matter of great importance, how can I do to escape this marsh of languages and tears?
Oh, you know, this is the way of solving the problem for both you and her:
- According to me, you should talk with your chief about your situation and ask her/him for transferring to work in the other cabin where is far away from her and out of sight( you breathe a sigh).
- Oh dear! You don't know anything; the problem is not like this.
At this moment, you may go mad. However, swear to God, if anyone puts a knife in your neck, you never dare to utter your hope with her: "I'm very tired; I want to relax in silence. Perhaps you should phone your colleague about that repulsive girl, Miss Hien", as you know, it means that you will tidy up the dining-table, wash dishes and go to the sofa to sleep alone if you say like this.
You situation is really pitiful. However, please complain of heaven and earth. Most married men throughout the world often fall into this bad situation, only the stories are different. And most of them, like you, don't know where the exit except the unique one is: I got married to a garrulous wife and I must stand her until "unbearable".
I will reveal you a secret: you are wrong. There is no foothold for the phrase of "a garrulous wife", because one of the natural characteristics of women is talkative. Building the relations by means of talking is the priority in the co-ordination of women's brains.
Italian women are most talkative, over 6.000-8.000 words per day, women on over the world talk less a bit, about 5.000-7.000 words. They use extra 2.000-3.000 pronounced sounds to communicate and 8.000-10.000 gestures, describing by facial features, the motions of heads other gestures. This gives them over 20.000 "expressions" of communication related to what they want to talk each day on average.
The opposite of the way of chattering, talking nineteen to the dozen, men only talk about 2.000-4.000 words, 1.000-2.000 pronounced sounds and perform only 2.000-3.000 gestures. Every day, he "talks" total 7.000 "expressions" of communication on average, with the way of talk which is extremely abatable - only over 1/3 talking capacity of women.
This difference is more obvious when husband and wife also sit side by side to have dinner. Usually, the man has already finished 7.000 "words" before going home without talking more.
Towards women, if that day she rarely communicates, only use about 2.000-3000 "expressions", she still reserves about 15.000 "words" to say! And this is the time the husband is "led a merry dance till die" in the redundant language marine of the wife.
What is the solution of the poor husband who is writhing with the expectation "I wish I could take a rest in silence"? Don't give that solution to the wife to finish her story because she will be more angry and talkative if you do like this.
The best thing is that you should listen silently (For the man who is more intelligent, he pretends to listen skillfully but he continues thinking about his problem in mind), sometimes, adding some words such as: "Is that so? Well, what then?" Please stimulate her to talk quicker, let the left unused words out in order that you are rescued as soon as possible.
The remote solution of prevention is to encourage her to stay more after working hours and confide to her friend and colleague more a bit. "The absolute solution" is that men should get married to women whose jobs force them to talk too much, nearly over 20.000 "words" each day such as: teacher of literature, consultant specialist, switchboard operator, museum guide, tour guide, television announcer.
The memorial lesson : The words of your wife are not born and lost naturally; they only shift out of one into one provided that she "deals with" 20.000 words every day.
Men's second difficulty towards women: The traps of language are always set.
How to satisfy a woman?
Fondle, praise, indulge, care, enjoy, massage, sympathize, whisper, glorify, assist, supply, relieve, snare, humor, reduce anger, stimulate, console, hold tight, neglect fat places, cuddle, excite, protect, mild, caress, tolerate, imitate, bring relief, passionate, charm, look after, believe, defend, cover, boast something about her, deify, admit, die of her, joke, satisfy, tighten arms, pamper, adore and revere.
How to satisfy a man?
Nude! |
She asks you before breakfast:
- What do you eat? Noodle soup? Or Bread clipped with eggs?
For you, having something for breakfast is not important:
- Please give me noodle soup.
- How about a bowl of chicken and rice noodles which I will cook for you?
- Yes, anything is all right.
- Or you eat beef fried noodles? I have just learned to cook this meal.
Oh, dear! She displays 4-5 dishes to choose then she wants her husband to eat the dish that she like cooking at last. How? Why doesn't she say at first to save time?
After having breakfast, you wait for her to change clothes in order that both of you go to work at the same time. Suddenly, she talks urgently:
- My darling, please come here.
- What?
- Please come here, quickly, It's terrible!
When you come in, she is almost nude and takes a good look herself at the mirror (there is short of a magnifier in hand).
- It's terrible; do you find that I get fat now?
You look at her. What is she different from yesterday, last week, last month?
- I feel that you are unchanged.
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